


Taking John Home

by Rinkafic



Series: Overs and Unders [7]
Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: M/M, Stargate Atlantis AU, broken!john
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-30
Updated: 2012-12-30
Packaged: 2017-11-22 23:05:51
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,253
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/615373
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rinkafic/pseuds/Rinkafic
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>This is 3 stories collected together, C is for Cellblock Tango, H is for Hugging John, and F is for Faith.  </i>
</p><p> </p><p>Evan and John head back to Earth to take care of some legal issues.  John meets Evan's mother, Heather.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Taking John Home

Evan took a deep breath and steeled himself for a bad reaction to the news he had to give John. “John, I need to tell you something.”

Looking up from his datapad, John’s expression of mild curiosity turned worried when he caught Evan’s vibes and saw how nervous he was. “What?”

Clearing his throat, Evan said, “We have to go to Earth. The dial out is in half an hour.” He had waited as long as he could before telling John.

For moment, John just stared at him. Then he started to shake his head. “No.” The datapad slipped from his fingers and fell to the floor. “No.”

“John, we have to. I’m sorry.”

His under leapt from the chair and stalked over to the balcony doors. “You don’t want me anymore. You’re taking me back.” He wrapped his arms around himself and slid to the floor, rocking back against the glass. 

Rushing to his side, Evan tried to pull him into a hug, but John scooted back and away. “John, that isn’t true. I don’t want to go either. Believe me, I don’t want to go. But they’re demanding to see you. There’s a civilian court order, you have to be brought in and examined by the doctors the court assigned.”

“No, no, no. No more doctors!” John started tugging at his hair and rocking in place. When Evan grasped his chin and forced his face up, his eyes were wild with panic. 

“I’m not leaving you John. I swear, I’m not leaving you. Please believe me. Calm down. I have to appear before the court and file properly for you, to be your over. They aren’t accepting the military proxy.”

John began to cry, wrapping his arms around his knees and hiding his face. Evan stroked a hand over his head and made shushing noises. Panic rising, John started to hit at him, pushing him away as he sobbed harder. “I don’t want to go. I want to stay here.”

Should he walk away and see if John calmed down? When he stood and took a few steps, John began to wail louder, lurching after him and grabbing onto his knees, clinging. “I’m sorry. Don’t send me away! I’ll do whatever you want. I know I’m bad I know it. Please, Evan!” He was sobbing uncontrollably now. Evan tried prying his hands away, trying petting his head, tried soothing noises, but nothing was getting through, John was working himself into a full blown panic attack. 

“John! Stand up.” he barked, hoping that maybe the sharp tone would get through where soft words had not. He held his breath as John suddenly stopped crying and climbed to his feet. “Now, look at me.” Slowly, he raised his head and look, taking a gulping breath. “Good. Now, listen to me. I am not leaving you. You are MY under. I want you. No one is taking you from me, ever, do you understand?”

It took a few moments, but John finally gave an uncertain nod. 

“Say it. I want to hear you say the words. What do you understand?” He hated using this tone with John, hated being harsh, but sometimes it was the only thing that got through when he was in a state. 

“I’m your under. You aren’t letting anyone take me.”

“That’s right.” He opened his arms and John hurled himself against him. It could have been worse, he supposed. They might have had to put John in a straightjacket and sedate him to drag him back through the Gate. They still might. “Now, come on. We don’t want to be late.”

John stopped a few times along the way, but Evan was able to coax him into moving. He’d packed a bag for them and it was waiting in the Gate Room where he had left it when he went to collect John. 

“I don’t want to go,” John whispered to Evan as Kate Heightmeyer came down the stairs to join them. 

“It will be okay, John. Don’t worry,” she said. She was going along to give testimony about John’s progress. 

Mostly for John’s benefit, Evan turned to Kate as the dialing sequence started and asked, “Whose side are you on these days, Kate?” John still had trouble trusting the doctor.

“I’m on John’s side, Major. I’ve always been on John’s side. I want what is best for him,” she said with a sad shake of her head.

Looking from Kate to Evan and back again, John cleared his throat and demanded, “And in your opinion, what is best for me, Kate?” Evan hid his smile behind his hand. He liked when John went back at Kate, showing some fire.

She patted his arm. “Evan. I believe that without any doubt, John. And that is what I will be telling the court, in no uncertain terms.” 

John nodded and pressed up against Evan’s side, clasping his hand and intertwining their fingers. He walked slowly through the event horizon, but he walked. No sedation or straight jackets required.

~*~

They walked straight into a sea of legal activity and red tape. When they were dragged into an office at the SGC, John ended up kneeling at Evan’s side, pressed up against his leg, clearly on the edge of panic. After about an hour of doing paperwork and listening to legal arguments, John pressed his face to Evan’s thigh and tugged on his hand to get his attention. Evan tried pulling him up, but they were in a roomful of strange officers from the legal department and he wouldn’t budge. He crouched down instead so that they were eye to eye. “Do you want something?”

John nodded. “Collar. Leash.”

It grated on Evan’s nerves, the symbology of collar and leash, it wasn’t the kind of relationship he wanted with an under, and not what he wanted with John. He knew it was acceptable, even expected in certain circumstances, but it was not his thing. “Why? Everyone knows you’re mine, John. That is why we’re here and doing all of this, to make it legal.” 

“Please,” John begged, squeezing Evan’s hand. He needed to do what was best for John, despite his personal preferences. 

“Gentlemen, I need to take a little break, if you don’t mind,” Evan said as he stood and looked over at the lawyers. They waved and nodded in agreement. 

“Come on John,” he led him to the elevator and then over to the base quartermaster. They were able to get a simple collar and a long woven lead. It wasn’t fancy, it was merely a token set, but it would do. John calmed considerably when Evan fastened the thin leather collar around his neck and kissed his cheek. He drew the line at holding the leash. He handed the end of it to John. If they were going to be projecting an image and using symbology, he was damn well making sure everyone knew that he trusted his under to do as he said and follow him without being dragged along.

The collar had such a positive effect that John even sat in the chair beside Evan as they met with other officials for the rest of the day. When they were done, Evan insisted on staying at a hotel. After they checked in and went to the room, John flopped on the bed and was asleep instantly, worn out from the emotional roller coaster of a day. 

They spent the next day meeting with the court-appointed mental health team. John nearly panicked when they took him into a room without Evan. They had to let Evan in twice to calm John down and assure him that he had not left and was waiting right outside while he was interviewed. 

He wouldn’t eat in the restaurant, so Evan had room service delivered, which John picked at before collapsing into bed again. 

The next day, after parking the rental car, they arrived at court to find the lawyers from the SGC and Kate Heightmeyer waiting. Clad in a black suit and his token collar, John sat pressed against Evan, trembling noticeably as they waited to be called before the judge.

Kate testified and what she said did not contradict the findings of the court's health people, which was a relief. She told the judge what she had told John in the Gate Room, that she believed the best place for him to be was with Evan as his over. 

The judge listened to all the testimonies and then called John forward and made him stand in front of the bench, after making Evan step out into the hallway, where he could not influence Sheppard with his presence. “Mister Sheppard, I've heard a lot of people talking about you today. I’ve read a lot of things in these reports. Before I make my decision, I want to ask you a few questions.”

“Yes, your honor.”

“Do you like your current situation, are you comfortable?”

“Yes, your honor.”

“Evan Lorne treats you well?”

“Yes, your honor.”

“And if I remanded you back to the custody of the state, how would you react, Mister Sheppard?”

John was silent for a moment. “I’d be very upset. I wouldn’t like it and I’d probably try to run away. Your honor.”

“To get back to Evan?”

“If I could, yes, your honor.”

The judge waved to bailiff to bring Evan back in. “I’m not going to complicate the matter. Mister Sheppard seems to be in the best possible situation, under the circumstances. I’m going to grant Major Lorne’s petition to be entered as his over of record, duly recognized by the state of Colorado.” The judge banged his gavel and that was that. Out in the corridor, Evan hugged John and kissed his forehead as Kate came over and hugged John and Evan in turn. They shook hands with the lawyers and then they were in the car and heading back to the hotel.

It had almost all gone off without a hitch. 

Evan pulled the car into a spot and he and John got out. John spotted the trouble first, coming across the parking lot at them. He gasped and grabbed Evan’s arm, rushing to get behind him. “Evan. Evan, he’s coming.”

As soon as John had panicked, Evan had seen the reason. Passing the keys over his shoulder he said sternly, “Get back in the car, John.” Then he turned to face the enraged man stalking towards them with an expression of pure rage on his face. 

“You have what’s mine!” 

“No, I don’t,” Evan snarled, moving to get between Harry Maybourne and John as his under clambered into the car and slammed the door. “Not according to the State of Colorado, I don’t.”

Maybourne shoved at him. “You little shit. You think you can keep my property from me?”

Evan shoved back with both hands. “John is not property.” He would have said more, but Maybourne started swinging, throwing the first punch at Evan’s gut. That was all the excuse Evan needed to let loose. He broke Maybourne’s nose with the first punch. The second broke his jaw with an audible crack. The rapid jabs to his ribcage certainly busted a rib or two, and he kneed him to the groin for good measure, pushing him back to lie in an unconscious heap on the asphalt. He might be a Colonel, but he was an out of shape Colonel and out of practice tussling with an opponent that would actually fight back.

Stepping over Maybourne’s feet, Evan went to the car and slapped the window. “Come on, get out, John, it’s okay now.” John slid from the car, his eyes wide as he stared at Maybourne as Evan took his hand and led him past the prone form of his former tormentor. 

Going inside the hotel, Evan went to the front desk. “You’re going to need to call the police and an ambulance. We were attacked in the parking lot. You’ll need to pull the security footage as well. Make sure you do, and make copies, the asshole lying unconscious in your lot is big trouble. I’ll be in my room, 545, when the police arrive to take a statement.”

He led John through the lobby and into the elevator. John stared at him, but said nothing. He waited until they were in the room to pull John into his arms and hold him. 

“You didn’t let him take me,” John whispered, pushing away.

“Of course I didn’t.” Evan went to sit in the chair in the corner and pulled John into his lap, cradling him there and rubbing his back in wide circles until the police knocked on the door and he had to get up to let them in. John sat quietly on the chair, watching and listening as Evan made a report. He just nodded in agreement when the cops asked him if what Evan said was true and signed off on the witness statement they handed him. 

“I want to go home now, Evan,” John said when the cops left. “I don’t want to stay here, I want to go home.”

“Are you okay?” Evan asked, stroking his cheek. 

“I’m better. I just don’t want to be here. I miss Atlantis. It feels weird here. Can we go back?”

“Let me see what I can do. We were supposed to stay a week.” Evan pulled out his cell phone and called Walter at the SGC. He hung up and looked at John. “Sorry buddy. We have to wait for the scheduled dial out and go with the resupply. What we can do is blow town and head for my mom’s.”

“Your mom’s?”

“Yeah, I thought we’d head up to San Francisco and see my mom for a few days.”

John tilted his head and considered it. “Okay.”

Relieved, Evan started collecting their stuff. “I didn’t tell Kate about this. You’ll have to go a few days without a session.”

“Good. I don’t want to talk to Kate right now. I want to meet your mom. Does your mom know about me?”

“Not a thing. We’re going to surprise her. She’s been after me for years to take an under, she worries that I’m alone.”

John smiled as Evan zipped up the suitcase. “Can we pretend that we’re like everybody else, that you wanted me for your under?”

Evan dropped the bag and crossed the room, pulling John roughly into his arms. “I wanted you, John. I want you now. We don’t have to pretend to be anything we’re not, okay? My mom is going to like you. She might try to feed you pastries to fatten you up, but otherwise, she will like you the way you are because you’re my partner.”

“You broke Maybourne’s nose,” John smiled as he said it.

“I’ve wanted to do that for months.”

John smiled and kissed him on the lips. “I’m glad you did.”

~*~

When Evan had said they were going to visit his mother, John had been a little nervous, but curious. The closer they got to his mom’s house, however, the worse he felt. His stomach hurt. But he didn’t say anything to Evan, he knew it had to have been a while since he had seen her and he was so excited about the surprise visit, John didn’t want to spoil it.

Walter at the SGC said he had felt a bit bad about not being able to get them back to Atlantis earlier than scheduled, so when Evan called and asked about arranging a flight to San Francisco to save the driving time, he came through with a surprise, utilizing the transporter on the _Daedalus_ to drop them at Travis AFB. It was easy enough to get a rental car from there.

Once they had the car, before leaving the lot, Evan dialed his mom and John heard his half of the conversation, though it was easy enough to fill in the rest. “Hi Mom! Doing good. Uh huh. Yup. Yup. Soon, I hope. The mission is interesting. Oh, lots of new stuff I can’t tell you about.” He laughed and listened to her talk, smiling over at John as he ran his fingers over the steering wheel. “Is that so? They must be getting huge. I can’t wait to see them again. So, what are you up to today? Uh huh. Bake sale? How did Eileen rope you into that? So you’re up to your ears in batter, I guess. I’ll let you go. We’ll talk tonight. Oh, I won’t forget. I promise. Love you too.”

“She’s home, I guess?” John said as Evan put the phone in his pocket. 

“Yup. We timed it right. Not only do we get to surprise her, there’s cupcakes to be had, she’s in baking mode.” He licked his lips in anticipation and John smiled at his goofy expression.

They pulled up in front of a yellow two story victorian style house that had a wrap around porch, tons of flowers in the flowerbeds and a cat sitting on the windowsill of the front window. The curtains twitched as Evan got out of the car and the cat jumped down and disappeared. (It would be two days before John saw the cat again, just as he had begun to think he’d imagined it, it came out of hiding.) The front door flew open and a woman with short hair the same color as Evan’s ran out onto the porch to meet him as he took the steps two at a time. He grabbed her and swung her around as she laughed and hugged him. 

John watched all of this through the windshield of the car. Uncertain of his welcome, despite Evan’s assurance that his mother would be thrilled to meet him, he had waited. He felt a pang of jealousy and longing as he saw Heather Lorne cup her son’s face and kiss him in a rain of happy kisses as she squeezed his cheeks. It had been so long since John’s mother had died, and he had been so little that he barely remembered her face. There was no one in the world that would ever be as happy to see John as Heather Lorne was at that moment, seeing Evan.

After hugging her again, Evan seemed to realize that John was not beside him. He looked around in confusion before he looked over at the car. He beckoned to him with one hand, waggling his fingers. Time seemed to move in slow motion as he felt for the door release and climbed out, then closed the door behind him and walked towards Evan. He saw Heather’s head tilt in curiosity as he approached. 

“Mom, this is John,” Evan introduced him.

“Hello John,” she smiled as he moved close and extended his hand to take hers. 

“He’s mine, Mom,” Evan whispered. 

Heather looked from John to Evan and her smile got wider. She wiggled out from under Evan’s arm and yanked John forward by the hand she was still holding into a tight hug. Unprepared, John stood frozen for a moment in her embrace before he looked over at Evan helplessly. Evan just grinned at him. 

He had two choices, he could hug her back or he could freak out and try to get away. If he pulled away, it might hurt her feelings and then Evan might feel hurt too. Awkwardly, he patted Heather’s back, accepting the hug as graciously as he knew how to do.

She was smiling when she let him go. He was relieved, both to see the smile and to be let go. It was one thing when Evan held him, but he wasn’t used to strangers hugging him. “It’s about time,” Heather said to Evan. Then to John she said, “He needed someone. He’s been alone too long. I worry about him.” She hooked her arm through John’s and started dragging him towards the house.

“Don’t worry John, she doesn’t bite. Like I told you, she’ll probably just feed you,” Evan said when he looked back over his shoulder helplessly. 

Heather had things that smelled really good in the oven, so she made them come into the kitchen and sit at the table there. Evan insisted that she keep on with what she was doing. When she came over to him with a bowl on one arm and held out one of the beaters from the mixer to him, he looked at her blankly. She laughed and asked, “Do you like chocolate?”

Nodding stupidly, he took the metal beater from her then watched Evan as he licked the chocolate frosting from the one she gave him. He licked at it tentatively, mimicking Evan, then happily cleaned every bit off. 

“Didn’t you ever lick the beaters or the bowl when you were a kid?” Evan asked as he took both beaters over to the sink and washed them. 

“I wasn’t allowed in the kitchen. Cook didn’t want us underfoot.” 

“Your mom didn’t bake?” 

John shrugged. “I don’t know. I was four when she died, Dave was eight. I don’t remember before that.” 

Heather clucked her tongue and crossed the kitchen, and hugged him again, squishing his face against her ample bosum. He didn’t stiffen as much this time, and it was over pretty quickly. She ruffled his hair though, when she stepped back. “Poor baby. Four years old.” She clucked her tongue again and might have said more but a timer pinged and she went to pull a tray out of the oven. 

Taking pity on the fact that John was uncomfortable with Heather’s pity, Evan offered to show him the garden out in the back yard. Once they were outside, he took John into his arms and kissed him. “I’m so proud of you,” he whispered as John sagged against him and clung slightly, needing the touch.

“Yeah?”

Evan nodded. “I know you were freaking out. Thanks for not hurting her feelings.”

“I didn’t want to upset her. Or you.”

“You’re better every day John. I doubt very much you would have done that a few months ago.” Evan cupped the back of his head and pulled him in for a kiss. 

He felt weird. “I shouldn’t have said anything about my mother, now she’s feeling sorry for me.” 

“No more than she would for anyone else that had lost a parent at a young age, John. Don’t read more into it. Okay?” It was logical, he supposed. Evan lead him around the yard, showing him the various flowerbeds and the birdhouse he’d painted and sent for Christmas the year before. 

It had been a very long time since he had been around anyone that didn’t know how messed up he was. “I don’t like lying, Evan,” he blurted. 

“What are you lying about?”

“Pretending to be normal.”

“Just be yourself, John. Look, my sister and her kids will be turning up any time now. What do you need me to do?” Evan asked, running his fingers across John’s scalp, scratching lightly. 

He thought about it then rubbed his bare neck. “Collar?”

“Would that make you feel better?” He nodded vigorously, he needed something tangible to remind him, something to touch when he felt nervous. The weight of the collar on his neck would do that. Evan kissed his forehead. “Okay then. Ready to go in?”

“I guess so.”

They went back into the kitchen. “I was going to pour some coffee, would you boys like some?”

“Yes, please,” Evan replied, and John nodded his head. “I’ll be back in a minute, I’m going to get the bags. I assume we can stay, Mom?”

“Don’t you dare even suggest going, brat!” She swatted Evan’s behind with the dish towel as he strode past her. 

He sat at the table sipping at his coffee while Heather rinsed bowls and set them in the dishwasher. “You’re sure a quiet one, aren’t you John?”

“Don’t pester him, Mom.” Evan said, coming back into the room and hearing her question. 

“I have some issues,” John blurted. “I’m usually quiet, when I’m not having a panic attack.” There, he’d said it. He felt a little better, a little less dishonest. 

Evan was standing in front of him, blocking his view of Heather, so he didn’t see what her reaction was. Evan paused at John’s words. He had the leather collar they had picked up at the SGC in his hand, that must have been why he went to get the bags when he did. He brushed John’s cheek with his knuckles as he fastened the collar around his throat and patted it. He kissed the top of John’s head and then took the seat at the table across from him. “He hasn’t had one in a while,” Evan said. Which wasn’t true, he’d had a major attack before they left Atlantis.

“You can be as quiet as you want to be, John. And you let me know if you need anything,” Heather said, coming over to top off his cup of coffee. 

He nodded and jumped as the front door suddenly opened and slammed back against the wall, and a herd of wild horses ran into the house. “They’re here,” Evan announced and then two boys bounded into the room, yelling “Grandma, Grandma, Grandma!” 

When they spotted Evan they screamed “Uncle Evan!” And threw themselves at him. He caught them and hugged them and started wrestling with them, tossing them up and flipping them over upside down, much to their delight. Their mother followed them into the kitchen, there was no mistaking that this was his sister Eileen, she looked like a female version of Evan. She scolded at the boys and pulled them off Evan so that she could kiss him and hug him as well.

The smaller of the two boys, he had to be about five, was standing still, staring at John. “Who’s that?” he asked, tugging on Evan’s sleeve.

“Guys, this is John. John, these are my nephews, Oscar and Elmo.”

“Uncle Evan! Nooooo!” the little laughed.

“Megan and Sandra?”

His brother protested as the little guy just giggled, “You’re being silly, Uncle Evan.” He turned to John, “I’m Taylor. That’s Robbie.” He apparently noticed the collar. “Oh, are you Uncle Evan’s under?” John nodded, unsure how else to respond. “Cool. Do you fly planes too?”

“I used to. It’s been a while.”

Walking closer, Robbie stared and then announced, “If I could fly planes, I would never, ever stop. I’m going to be in the Air Force when I’m big.”

Once they started talking, it seemed they had no off switch. Even when Eileen apologized and told her sons to shut up, they would pause for a moment then continue. John was feeling a little overwhelmed, but he didn’t want to spoil Evan’s visit. He gripped his coffee cup and slid his chair back a little bit towards the corner. 

Heather walked over towards the table with the coffee pot. She looked over at John and then set the pot on a coaster on the center of the table. Extending a hand to him she said, “John, come with me, I want to show you something.”

“Can I come too?” Taylor asked, looking up from the Legos that were now scattered across the kitchen floor. 

“Me too,” echoed Robbie.

“No, you play there. This is for John.” She squeezed his hand and led him towards a closed door at the side of the kitchen, then into a room that wasn’t very big, but it was cozy. There was a TV, an easy chair and a loveseat. There were various art projects and sewing things scattered around on the end tables and on shelves. One of Evan’s paintings hung on the wall over the TV.

She waved her hand around the room. “Anytime you need to get away from us, you just duck right in here, John. Those noisy boys aren’t allowed to come in here, this room is off limits to them. I need somewhere to escape now and then, as you can see, they can be a little overwhelming. Just wait until my sister and her brood turn up, then it will be really loud in the house.”

“Thank you,” he said gratefully. 

“My Alan used to come back here when the whole family was making a racket and it got to be too much. He was another quiet one like you.”

“Was that Evan’s dad?”

“Yes. He had a heart attack four years ago, he went peacefully in his sleep.” She patted John’s arm. “I’m glad you’re here, John.”

He felt his cheeks get warm. “I am too, thanks... Heather.”

“Mom,” she corrected, and then she hugged him again, quickly this time. “You take a break here, if you like. I’ll call you for dinner.” And with that, she spun away and closed the door behind her. He debated going back into the kitchen, but the loveseat looked very comfortable and inviting, and it was very quiet. Maybe just a few minutes, time to collect himself, then he’d go and find Evan.

He jolted awake when Evan squeezed his shoulder and kissed his lips. “Hey sleepyhead. Time to eat.” It was dark outside and he had a crocheted blanket tucked around him. 

“I fell asleep,” he mumbled, stating the obvious as Evan tugged the blanket off him and folded it.

“I’m jealous. I’ve been giving pony rides. Come on, almost dinnertime. Aunt Trish is here, and my cousin Phil is supposed to be here any minute with his son Alan.”

He stood and stretched. “How long was I asleep?”

“About an hour. I came to check on you and you were zonked out. How could you sleep with two cups of coffee in you?” Evan’s hand was at the small of his back as they left the room. 

He shrugged. “I was sleepy.” 

Dinner was fairly quiet, considering the addition of another rambunctious boy, but the conversation flowed and the food was good and John didn’t feel uncomfortable, for the most part. When he did start to feel edgy, he slid his hand up and touched the collar. Once during coffee and cake when he started to do that, Evan caught his hand on the way back down and held it under the table for the rest of the night.

Cousin Phil had brought his under, a woman named Jessie that wasn’t Alan’s mother. She didn’t talk at all through the whole meal, she sat at Phil’s side, keeping her head down. John hoped he wasn’t breaking the family’s way, speaking at the table. Maybe this Jessie was behaving the way good unders did in Evan’s family. But Heather and Eileen kept him involved in the conversation, and they and Evan each directed a question or two at Jessie, she just didn’t answer beyond a nod or shake of her head. 

“Is that how I seem to people?” John whispered in Evan’s ear as Heather walked Phil and Jessie and Aunt Trish to the door. Eileen had collected her bake sale goodies and departed a little earlier, it was just John and Evan in the kitchen. 

“Maybe to some,” Evan admitted, pulling him up against his side. “But not today. Ready for bed?”

He followed Evan through the kitchen to the front stairs. “Night mom,” Evan said, kissing her cheek as he walked past her on her return to the kitchen. “We’re going to crash, it’s been a long day.”

“Okay then. Sleep as late as you want, I’m not doing a hot breakfast tomorrow, I have an appointment at eight and then a yoga class at ten. I’ll see you boys for lunch. Goodnight.”

John wasn’t sure what came over him, but as he walked past Heather, he stopped and then hugged her. “Goodnight. Thank you,” he whispered as he quickly released her and ran to catch up with Evan on the stairs.

~*~

When Evan announced that they were going out into the garden and that he was going to paint, Heather had gone to the pantry and collected a cooler bag, then filled it with food. She handed John a throw blanket and told him there was a hammock rolled up in the shed, if he wanted to put it up to use it. Then she left for the day, she had classes to go to at the community college, where she was currently studying pastry design.

Kneeling on the ground, John spread the blanket out while Evan set up his easel where he could see the little bubbling fountain near the hydrangeas and started mixing his paints. John wasn’t very hungry, and he suspected that Evan would want to paint for a while before stopping to eat. “What should I do?” he asked Evan.

“What do you want to do?”

He shrugged and looked around the garden. Evan was supposed to tell him what to do, that was the way this was supposed to work. Evan was the over, he was the under. He rubbed his forehead and pressed his fist to his stomach. Why did Evan always put it back on him to make a decision? He started to hunch over when Evan was suddenly there, gripping his shoulders. 

“It’s okay, calm down, I’m sorry, I forgot, being here at home.” Evan pulled him forward, holding him for a minute. “John, why don’t you trust yourself?” Evan whispered as he smoothed John’s hair back from his forehead.

“I make bad decisions,” John blurted, then hid his face against Evan’s flannel shirt. “I make bad choices.”

Evan sat beside him, his hands still on John’s arms, resting lightly. “Like what? Tell me so I can understand. Give me an example.” 

He shouldn’t tell his current over about his previous overs, that had always been bad in the past, it had led to several painful punishments, in fact. When he talked about Maybourne during his sessions with Kate Heightmeyer with Evan present made Evan mad. John understood it wasn’t directed at him, but he didn’t like it when Evan got angry. “I shouldn’t say anything. I should just forget about it,” he shook his head, hoping Evan didn’t press for more. 

Slipping the tip of his finger under the leather collar John was wearing, Evan gave a gentle tug, a reminder of John’s position as his under as he said, “Tell me about one poor decision you made, John.” 

Surely there was one thing in his past that wouldn’t make Evan angry? “Let me think. Are you hungry? Your mom made this picnic for us.” He hoped food might distract Evan, but knew that was a foolish hope, Evan never forgot anything.

John thought about what he could say as Evan rummaged through the cooler bag and pulled out juice boxes for each of them and a bag of cut up vegetables. Passing a fruit punch to John, he crunched on a carrot and watched John expectantly, waiting for him to speak. He did that a lot. He waited, without pushing. 

“I... I rushed into things, I accepted the first over that asked for me.” There, he’d said the hard part, he had started The sky had not collapsed, the earth hadn’t opened up. Spectres from his past had not materialized to punish him for speaking. “I made a mistake. I shouldn’t have done that.”

“Tell me about it,” Evan offered him the bag of sliced veggies. John took a piece of cauliflower and stuffed it in his mouth as he thought about what to say. His over would wait patiently, John knew; he needn’t rush. 

“I met him at the beach the summer I finished college. He was teaching surfing lessons, and I wanted to learn, so I took a few lessons. Then we went on a few dates. His name was Todd.” Not all his memories of Todd were bad. Not everything about Todd had been bad. Just most of it.

Evan pulled more stuff out of the bag and started making sandwiches. It seemed such an ordinary thing to do, to sit on a blanket and have a picnic on a warm day. “I don’t deserve this,” he whispered suddenly, drawing Evan’s attention. “I don’t deserve you.”

“Nonsense,” Evan said dismissively. “There isn’t anything you could have done in the past that would make me believe that, John. Short of murder. You aren’t, by chance, an ax-wielding serial killer? I’d really hate to wake up dead one morning because you snapped.”

“No, I’m not a killer,” John snorted and smiled and Evan smiled back and handed him a sandwich. “I rushed into things with Todd. I wanted to learn, I wanted to be a proper under, I’d waited until after I was done with school because I wanted to do it right. I thought he was a good instructor. I mean, he taught me how to surf, and we had a lot of laughs. I thought that would carry over into a relationship, that he would be as patient with training me as an under as he had been with the board. ”

“But he wasn’t,” Evan said when John fell silent. 

He shook his head and took a bite of his sandwich. “At first it was okay. But then Todd started to get demanding and mean. He liked to hurt me, but he didn’t want me to make any noise.”

“Easy, John, you can stop telling me whenever you want to, don’t force it.”

“I’m okay. I want you to know what happened. He tied me up and left me like that, sometimes for hours. Once he left me chained to the bed for a whole weekend, he went partying and forgot about me. Then he punished me because I messed myself, and brought his friends in to laugh at me and see what had happened.” 

Evan’s lips were pressed together tightly, he was getting angry. John wondered if he should stop talking. “That was so wrong of him, John. He humiliated you. He should have been protecting you.”

“He was very young. We both were. Too young for a serious relationship. I don’t hate him,” John blurted.

“No?” Evan cocked his head and looked at him. 

“Uh-uh. He didn’t know any better. I made the mistake, I gave him permission when I took his chain around my neck and let him be my over. It wasn’t all bad, some of it was good. I wish that we could have stayed friends, but he was angry when I left.”

“What made you leave?” Evan’s hand was on John’s thigh, rubbing lightly, making circles.

“My brother got in a bad car accident. Todd was a real dick about it, he wasn’t going to let me leave to see Dave in the hospital. I had a glimpse of what things would continue to be like and I decided to break the arrangement, we didn’t have a legal one, it was all verbal. So I packed my stuff when he went to the beach and I called a cab and left. After my brother was well, I joined the Air Force.”

“I’m glad you did.”

“I wonder if I had stayed if it would have been better. I wouldn’t have met the others, I wouldn’t have continued to pick men that were bad for me. I might not have ended up with Maybourne.”

Evan wiped his hands on a napkin and took the empty juice box from John’s hand. “Maybe. But we can’t live in the past, John. We can learn from it and move on. If not for all of that, I wouldn’t have met you. Do you believe that I would ever do any of the things Todd did?”

“No. I know you wouldn’t, you’re different than him, than all of them.”

“So there, wouldn’t you say that’s a good decision you made, agreeing to take me as your over?” John nodded and looked down at his lap. When he heard Evan clearing up the remnants of their lunch, he started to help, handing him the food and gathering the paper trash. 

“I wish...” he bit his tongue, he hadn’t planned to say that out loud.

Evan had heard his slip.. “Wish what? C’mon, spill.”

He might be asking for trouble by saying anything else, this could go very, very badly. “Sometimes I wish you treated me... I wish you’d touch me as if I were normal and not made of glass, like I’m always just about to shatter.” 

“I don’t want to rush you, John.”

“I’m not going to break!”

“If I believed that were true, I’d take you upstairs right now and keep you in bed for the rest of our leave time. I can wait, John. I think it’s a good sign that you’re getting impatient, that you’ve been asking for more. You’ve given me more already.” Evan stroked a finger over John’s lips and smiled. 

John shuddered at the memory of the handful of times he and Evan had been slightly intimate. “That was only the once,” he complained. 

“Twice,” Evan countered, then clapped his hands together. “Okay, talking time is over. I want you to pose for me.”

“Huh?”

Evan stood up and started walking back to his easel. He picked up his sketchbook. “I haven’t had a live model in ages. Pose for me.”

It seemed a simple enough request. “What do I do?”

“Take off your clothes.” 

In the backyard, in broad daylight? “Here?”

“We’re alone, no one can see into the garden. And if they can, shame on them for looking.” Evan grinned at him.

Feeling very self conscious, John began to unbutton his shirt. He took that off first, then kicked off his sneakers and bent over to pull at his socks, he wiggled his bare toes. He was straightening up when Evan called, “Hold that, just like that.” 

He held still, something he was very good at, after years of training as an under for impatient overs. The scratch of Evan’s pencil on the paper was a soothing sound and he let himself be lulled by it. 

“Good. Okay, now stretch out on the blanket and look at me.” Evan came over and arranged his foot so that one knee was up, then moved his arm around to cradle his head. “Just like that.”

It was quite comfortable. “I could fall asleep like this,” John told him after Evan resumed drawing. 

“Then have a nap, I don’t mind, I’ll finish my sketch and then go back to the flowers.”

The warmth of the early summer sun on his skin and the lull of Evan’s soft sounds as he worked did indeed calm him and he drifted off to sleep.

~*~

Evan had set aside the sketch pad and was working in oils, painting the hydrangeas, as he had promised his mom he would do for her at some point. He smiled as John snorted in his sleep, he was out cold, sprawled on his stomach on the blanket. Evan had sprayed him with sunblock earlier to keep him from burning.

He heard the screen door close and looked over to see his mom coming out. She smiled and nodded in approval as she saw what he was painting. Then she looked over at John and smiled again. “Someone is relaxed,” she said quietly, as she got to Evan’s side. 

“Finally,” Evan replied. 

Heather clucked her tongue. “He’ll burn.” She walked over to the blanket and picked up John’s shirt, shaking it out and moving to spread it over his bare back. Evan heard her gasp in shock. He had forgotten about John’s scrs and had not thought to warn her. She looked over at him, and then back at John. She spread the shirt carefully over John and then rushed back to Evan’s side. “Evan?”

He set his brush and palette down and took her elbow, leading her back to the kitchen steps, where they could talk out of John’s hearing range, should he wake. He sat on the top step and patted the spot beside him. Her expression was troubled as she looked across the yard at John. “Who did that to him?”

“His last over.”

“Heavens, Evan, how could someone do that to another person? Especially one given into their keeping?” Heather had been his father’s over, she had instilled very firm ideas of how an over should treat an under. “No wonder he has panic attacks. Evan, however did you end up taking him on? How did you meet him?”

He sighed. “The base psychiatrist, Kate Heightmeyer, came to me six months ago and told me about John’s case. He was being released from the military hospital and they were looking to place him on our base, to get him out of the situation he was in. The team working with him felt he needed an over that could be patient and work with him to get him back on his feet.”

“It was a bad situation?”

“Very, he was in the hospital for months recovering. He hasn’t told us how he ended up with him, but he was kept against his will.”

“Has this former over of his been punished?”

Evan rubbed the back of his neck and blushed slightly. “Well, he has now. We ran into him before we came out here.”

“What did you do?”

“He might have run into my fists a few times.”

“I don’t condone violence as a rule. But good. He’s been burned, Evan, I know burn scars when I see them.”

“And cut, and whipped.” He patted her knee as she worried at her lower lip. “He’s getting better, Mom. Six months ago, he wouldn’t have been able to sit at the table and eat with strangers, he would have flipped out being touched and hugged. He wouldn’t have engaged anyone in conversations. When he first came to me, he was non-verbal.”

“Now I’ll worry for you, Ev.” She touched his arm and stared into his face. “How can you have a fulfilling relationship if he’s so... broken? When you got here, I thought this was a love match, I thought John was just shy.”

He wrapped an arm around her shoulders and pulled her close. “He is shy. It might not have started as one, but this is a good match, Mom. I look at it this way, I didn’t have anyone before. There was never time, and especially not with my current posting. An no, I can’t tell you where it is. Now I have John. I care about him, and I think he cares for me too.”

“That poor boy.”

“He doesn’t need pity, Mom. He needs understanding and patience, but not pity. I have a feeling there’s going to be a scene before we leave. He tends to act out when he wants something, to push to get a reaction. He was a little off kilter earlier, and I’m not sure if there’s going to be a flare up before he gets settled again. He deals with things a little differently than the rest of us.”

She glanced over towards John again, sleeping peacefully on the picnic blanket. “It looks like you had a nice day out here.”

“We did. Thanks for the picnic lunch.”

“You’re welcome. I’m making pot roast and potatoes for dinner.”

He made a yummy sound and then rubbed his belly as she stood and opened the door. “Is there anything I shouldn’t say or do, Evan?” she asked from the doorway, looking over at John, who was beginning to stir.

“Nope. Just be yourself, please. Don’t treat him any differently than you would any other under I might have brought home. He would be embarrassed if he knew I told you what I did. Let him come to you with it. He volunteered about the panic attacks the other day, I didn’t expect that.” She nodded and went inside and he walked back along the stone path that he had put in twelve years earlier as a gift for his mother and resumed his painting. 

John woke and sat up and Evan could sense him watching him paint. “Nice nap?”

“Yeah,” he replied, pulling his shirt on and not meeting Evan’s eyes. 

“Did you bring a book outside with you?” he knew John had one, he’d seen it. When John held it up and waggled it, Evan smiled. “Read to me,” he said, forcing John to speak and not withdraw into silence. The rest of the afternoon passed quickly, with John reading aloud and Evan painting.

Dinner passed without incident, though John was very quiet and avoided Evan’s eye. He answered the questions Heather put to him, but offered nothing on his own. Evan decided it might be best to cut the pending tantrum off at the pass and so he announced that they would be going up to bed early.

He showered first and waited for John to come out, sitting on the bed in his boxers, weighing out his options. When John came back into the bedroom and went to the drawer for sleep bottoms and a shirt, Evan said, “Leave them, come over here.”

He saw John’s hand still in midair at his tone. Then he turned and slowly walked over, head down. He stood beside the bed as Evan sat there with his legs over the side. “I’ve learned a few things over the past few months too, John. I know when you’re tensing up and when you’re about to have a tantrum.” 

John’s head came up, but he put it right down again. 

“I won’t have an incident here, not in my mom’s house.” He hid his smile behind his hand as he saw John’s reaction to his stern tone. Rather than tensing up, John was doing the opposite, he was relaxing. Kate told him he was soft with John, undemanding, and that eventually, he might have a problem if he couldn’t be what John needed as he recuperated. John had been attracted to dominant, arrogant, demanding overs in the past because while they were often too much for him, they fed some need that John had. 

“Are you planning on misbehaving?” Evan asked.

“No, sir,” John replied. “But sometimes I can’t help myself, it just happens.”

Crossing his arms over his chest, Evan said, “And what sort of thing might ‘just happen’ now, if you were to hazard a guess?” He wondered if John would take the out he was offering him. He still could not ask for what he needed, but he might let himself be manipulated into telling Evan. 

“The bathroom might get messed up,” John whispered. 

“As in shaving cream and soap and toothpaste all over the place messed up?”

John nodded, “Yes sir.”

“Why don’t we say that has happened, for the sake of argument, since a deed considered is halfway to done?” Evan rested his hands on his knees and waited for John’s reaction.

John looked up at him, tilting his head. “Sir?”

“We’ll save the hassle of the cleanup this way. Less stress and my mom doesn’t need to see or hear anything.” 

“Okayyyy.”

“Now, what do you think a proper punishment is for messing up the bathroom at a house where we are guests?” He knew not to leave it too open or John would shut down. He needed to give him choices. “I think standing in the corner. Or writing an apology letter. Or sleeping on the floor alone. Or a good hard spanking. Which do you think?” This was the closest they’d get to John asking, at least for now. 

John didn’t hesitate, and Evan almost laughed at the speed with which he answered. “Spanking.” It was exactly what he had expected. He also knew that this wasn’t entirely about John’s need to be punished. There was a strong sexual element to this as well. 

“Take the towel off and get over my knees,” he ordered. As he thought, when John removed the towel, Evan could see that he was hard. John arranged himself in such a way that his erection was pressed intimately against Evan’s thigh. He gave a swat to John’s bottom and he heard John sigh. This was quite different than the first time he had spanked John, when it had been a true punishment and John had been embarrassed and hurt. 

He landed a few more swats, pausing between each one to smooth his hand over John’s bare rump. “Such a naughty thing you are,” he said softly, landing another smack. He grasped one cheek in his hand and squeezed. “Admit that you’re naughty, John.”

“I’m very naughty,” John replied, his voice high and a little breathy as he hung down across Evan’s knees, his fingers to the floor for balance. After a few more swats, he groaned, “Need this.” Evan almost stopped at the admission, but instead pretended not to hear. 

“I think you need to feel this tomorrow, to be reminded how naughty you are.” At his words, John pressed against his thigh and moved so that his cock rubbed against Evan. He brought his hand down harder, the slap making a sharp noise in the quiet room. 

Two more hits like that and John grunted, “Harder... sir.” 

Evan swatted him again and then made John stand. His lower lip jutted out in a pout because Evan had stopped. “You know this isn’t a punishment, don’t you?” After a few moments, John nodded. “You like this.” Again, John nodded reluctantly. Evan grasped his arm and pulled him down, then kissed him hard on the lips and released him. “Do you want more?”

He didn’t think John would answer, but he was surprised. “Please, sir. Don’t stop.” 

Evan stood and went to the armchair in the corner and dropped the towel John had been wearing over it. “Bend over the arm. I want you to touch yourself while I’m spanking you.” John was blushing, but he did as Evan said. In this position, Evan could see John’s face in the mirror on the closet door. It was a little awkward, but he was able to position himself to spank John and also to watch him as he stroked himself. 

“You’re so naughty, John,” Evan whispered, running a hand over his reddened ass. He continued to periodically land a swat as John stroked himself. Hohn was sweating profusely and began to grunt as he twisted his hand on his cock. He suddenly went still and then looked back over his shoulder at Evan for permission to continue. Evan damned John’s former overs and told him, “It’s okay, finish. I’m watching.” 

Evan slid into the armchair and John knelt in front of him and pressed his cheek to Evan’s knee as Evan rubbed a hand over his head, scratching his scalp as he knew John liked. “I...” John whispered, looking up at Evan. 

He caught John’s chin in one hand. “Go on,” Evan urged.

“I don’t know why I like that.”

“Shall I hazard a guess?” When John nodded, he said, “I think you like the feeling of being in someone else’s control. It’s part and parcel of your dynamic, why you identify as under and not over. When you’re being spanked like that, you have no way of knowing when the next swat is going to land, or how hard it is going to be.”

Blushing, John nodded, “I guess so.”

“Do you like the pain?”

John thought about it before he gave a nod. “I like the heat. It reminds me.”

“You like to be reminded. Collar, cock cage, heated skin, all remind you. That’s interesting.” Evan said, caressing John’s face. 

John slid his hand up Evan’s thigh, and fingered him through the fabric of his boxers. “May I, sir?”

“Why?” He didn’t mind John touching him, but he needed to be sure it was for the right reasons, and not just a tit for tat thing.

“I want to watch you too, the way you were watching me.” The answer wasn’t what Evan had expected. He nodded and lifted his butt to allow John to pull his shorts off. John wrapped his hand around Evan’s erection and stroked him, all the while watching him. The rhythm was not what Evan was used to, but John soon had him sighing and thrusting up off the chair. He tried to keep his eyes open, to watch John, but when he came he tilted his head back and cried out quietly. 

John let go of him when he had gone soft and moved up to straddle Evan’s thighs. He leaned in and kissed him, tentatively at first, then with more exuberance. Evan held his hips and kissed him back, enjoying John’s initiative. 

“Thank you,” John whispered as he broke off the kiss and sat back, wincing as his butt pressed against Evan’s thighs. 

“For?”

“Not treating me like glass.” His fingers tangled in Evan’s hair and he leaned in to kiss him again. 

Evan nudged John to get up so they could go to bed. Once under the covers, John immediately scooted over and pressed against him. Stroking a hand over John’s back in the dark, Evan smiled as he heard him sigh contentedly. He pressed a kiss to the top of John’s head. “Thank you, John,” he whispered.

“For what?” John mumbled around a yawn.

“For trusting me, even if you don’t trust yourself.”

~*~

John heard Evan’s cell phone ringing and he rolled over to pick it up off the nightstand and handed it to Evan.

“Hello,” Evan yawned. “Yeah, sure I remember you. Hi. What? You’re friggin’ kidding me. No. Yeah, yeah, I get it. No, I understand.” He looked over at John and reached for him, pulling him up against him and hugging him. John liked when Evan was sleepy and lazy like this, with no tension in his body. 

He couldn’t hear the other end of the conversation, but if it was something he needed to know, Evan would tell him. 

“Yeah. We can be ready in fifteen. What? Why?” His arm tightened around John. “I don’t like it. Does it have to be...? Fine. Fifteen.” He clicked the phone off and hugged John with both arms.

“You sound mad,” John said, stating the obvious.

“Annoyed. Not at you. Maybourne is raising a stink. He filed assault charges. I have to go to the SGC and talk to General Hammond and maybe with legal and get this cleared up.” He kissed the top of John’s head brusquely and rolled away off the bed.

John got up and began to dress too. “John, look, I have to leave you here.”

“What?” 

“That was Janet Fraiser, you remember her from Medical, right? She said things are a little crazy at the mountain right now. She doesn’t think it would be a good idea for you to go in.” Evan fastened his belt and sat down to put his boots on. 

He hadn’t been separated from Evan in six months, not since the first day in Atlantis. “You’re trying to protect me.”

“Yes. That’s part of my job, remember? Keeping you safe. This is the best way I can do that, by not taking you into a hostile and volatile situation. They have something else going on there, something came through the Gate and they’re dealing with that too. I cannot keep you at my side there, not with what needs to be done. The safest place on the planet for you right now is here, with my mother.”

Evan held out a hand to him as he stood up. John took it and followed him along down the stairs. Heather was in the kitchen, sitting at the table, sipping coffee. “What happened?” she asked as she saw Evan.

“Maybourne filed charges. I have to go to the base and answer some questions. It will be fine,” Evan tried to reassure both John and his mother. He steered John to the table and made him sit. He crouched down in front of him and took his hands. “I will be back as soon as I can.”

“John isn’t going?” 

Evan stood and shook his head. “No. I want him here. Look, they might, and I mean might, throw me in the brig for a while.” He handed his cell phone to John, folding his fingers around it. “I have friends at the base. They will call if anything happens and I can’t get right straight back to you, John.” 

“They’re going to put you in jail for breaking Colonel Maybourne’s nose.”

Evan rubbed his cheek with his knuckles. “It will have been worth it. Kate’s number is in the phone.” Evan looked over at his mother, “Kate Heightmeyer, our therapist. If you need her, call her, John.”

“I don’t want to talk to Kate, I’m on vacation,” John tried to smile for Evan. He was so worried, and John didn’t want him going off thinking he was going to lose his shit. John stood up and hugged Evan. “Don’t worry about me. You need to think clearly, so you can talk yourself out of trouble. I’ll be fine here.”

“So proud of you right now,” Evan whispered, stroked his face and then kissed his lips. “I need to go. They’re sending a car and meeting me at the corner,” he said for his mother’s benefit. They were using the Asgard beam to pick him up and transport him to the mountain. 

John walked to the door with him and waved when Evan got to the sidewalk and turned back to wave to him. He felt Heather move up beside him. She slipped her fingers through his and gave a squeeze. 

“Did he really break a Colonel’s nose?”

“He deserved it. He’s a very bad Colonel,” John replied. 

She tugged at his hand. “Come on and have some breakfast. Do you like cinnamon toast?”

“I don’t know, I never had it.”

“Then today is your lucky day!”

~*~

He kept the cell phone in his pocket all day, checking it every once in awhile to make sure the battery was charged and that he had not missed a call or text message. No one called.

When Heather found out John had not seen the epic, three film version of a classic series of books he had read as a kid, she insisted that they have a movie marathon. He was drawn into it and it distracted him from his concerns about Evan. It helped to pass the hours. They broke for lunch when the delivery boy arrived with a pizza Heather had ordered for them. 

Evan’s sister Eileen, sans children, stopped in to say hello as Heather was making dinner. She sat at the table across from John as they had tea. “So where’s Evan?”

“He had to go to the base for a meeting,” Heather said. 

“Oh?”

“He’s in trouble for fighting,” Heather said.

John took a deep breath. “Maybourne took the first swing. Evan will get out of it.” He was sure of it.

“Who is Maybourne?” Eileen asked, sipping at her tea. 

“He used to be my over. But they took me away from him and he was pretty pissed off about it. He came at Evan, when we were at the hotel. He wanted to take me back. Evan stopped him.” John hadn’t really intended to say all of that, but Heather had been looking straight at him and he thought she should know the truth. 

“They took you away? I don’t understand,” Eileen said.

How much was too much to say? This was Evan’s mother and his sister, the two people Evan loved and trusted the most. “He was abusive.” John held up a wrist to show the scars from the shackle. “He kept me chained up. The military found out and they removed me from the premises.” There was no disgust in Eileen’s eyes, as he might have expected. She reached across the table and took his hand, giving it a squeeze. “When I got out of the hospital, they sent me to Evan.”

“A better place. Evan is a good man,” Eileen said, and squeezed his hand again before she let go. “So, he hit this Maybourne?”

“Broke his nose,” Heather said. 

“And his jaw, four ribs and he had a ruptured testicle, according to the police officer that came to the room,” John added with a smirk.

The phone in John’s pocket buzzed. “Excuse me,” he said as he pulled it out and saw a text message from Kate. _‘Evan still with legal. Are you okay?’_

 _‘I’m fine. Watched movies all day. About to have dinner. No worries, Evan will be fine.’_ He typed the message awkwardly and hit the send button. 

Heather was watching him with concern. “Text from Kate. She said Evan’s with legal and wanted to make sure I was okay.”

“Are you?” Heather asked, coming over to squeeze his shoulder.

“So far. I hope they don't keep him overnight, I hate sleeping alone,” he joked. Eileen laughed and kissed his cheek, excusing herself to go home and feed her sons and husband. 

The cornbread was on the table and Heather was spooning out bowls of chili when the kitchen door opened and Evan came in. “Oh, thank God!” Heather exclaimed, and put the ladle down to hug him. 

John smiled and got up to hug Evan too. Evan cupped his cheeks and looked into his face. “You okay?”

“I’m really good now.”

“Evan, sit, eat, tell us what happened.” Heather set another place beside John and Evan sank into the chair.

Sniffing at the chili, Evan smiled and spooned up a mouthful, making appreciative noises. “It took some doing, but legal got hold of those security tapes from the hotel and it held up my testimony and corroborated the police reports.”

“That’s good,” John said, buttering some corn bread and handing it to Evan. 

“Yeah. When General Hammond had all the evidence in front of him, he was madder than a wet hen. He bucked Maybourne back down to Major, and threatened to make it Captain if he set foot on the base again. He can’t court martial him for what he did to you, but he strongly suggested that Maybourne consider retiring.” He smiled and ate some more, answering whatever questions he could without breaking security. 

When the meal was over and the table cleared, Evan pulled an envelope out of his pocket. “This was part of what took me so long, I was in with legal getting it figured out and then the General had to approve it.” He slid the envelope across the table. “They reviewed the security tapes from Fort Hood. It was determined that you were taken from the base under duress. In light of that, and the evidence of what came later, they have determined that you were forced to resign and have reinstated your commission. You are currently on indefinite medical leave, Major Sheppard.” 

John picked up the envelope and pulled out the papers within. His hands were shaking. “Evan, I...”

“When you’re ready John.”

“I may never be ready. I’ll never be strong enough.”

“I have faith in you. You will be, someday. It might just be that you’ll be strong enough to decide that you really do want to resign. But on your terms, when it is your decision.” 

 

The End


End file.
